Overheard At The Book Sale

Hey everybody! I’m on my way out to the pool, but before I go, I know you want to hear about the  Friends Of The Library Used Book Sale. Because although everyone does not get to go, everyone SHOULD have the chance to go. Yes, I wrote about this last year. It was a popular post, but I know better than to try to recreate it.

I know you would have loved being there. I arrived at 10:00 A.M., accidentally grouping myself with the crowd waiting to be the first ones in. We streamed in when the doors were unlocked: the young, the old, the limping, the pony tailed, the bearded. Many thought to bring their own bags, for a bagful of books was priced at five dollars. And we early birds each had a game plan.

Mine was to head straight to the record albums. I did find a few, not as many as I had hoped, but I had to move on. Now I was free to drink in the heady air of the shelves. Nonfiction first. I already had a rolling cart, because as the pro that I am, I was not going to be held back by a handbag, despite its potential value as a weapon to procure the only copy of  Backyard Pests or Desserts From Around The World.

I would willingly fight for this Anthony Powell, but I already own it.

I would willingly fight for this Anthony Powell, but I already own it.

I found paperbacks to read in the swimming pool:DSC_0325

And some nonfiction that suited my fancy.

I'm in a World War I phase right now. Also I'm in a World War II phase. Double nerd.

I’m in a World War I phase right now. Also I’m in a World War II phase. Double nerd.

Though we were  a civilized crowd today, emotions ran a broad gamut. Would there be any decent classics left? And how about the selection of banned books? Endorphins and cortisol filled the room like a whiff of Midnight In Paris.

Hey. Scoot over and make room for somebody else.

Hey. Scoot over and make room for somebody else.

Tension was definitely in the air, but if one wanted to be sure, one could do what I did. I eavesdropped. Here is my report of the emotional scene:

Disappointment in the  the paperback fiction: “I been lookin’. But I ain’t found the first romance in here.”

Dang!

Dang!

Effusiveness, obsessiveness and  poor boundaries in the mystery paperbacks: “I’m a neat freak! Everbody wants to know how I keep my house so clean!”

I don't see the lady in question. She had clearly come straight from having her hair done.

I don’t see the lady in question. She had clearly come straight from having her hair done.

More obsessiveness  later from the same woman, apparently worried abut the effects of unauthorized reading on the populace, in the hardbacks: “Yes, but when you get started on one it really ruins your housekeeping, doesn’t it?”

Attitude of entitlement in the children’s section, from a middle aged woman, imperiously, to a volunteer,”Where are the third grade books?”

Affability and non competitiveness, or perhaps a pickup line  in the hardback fiction, from a man to a woman, Him: “I’ve seen quite a few Danielle Steeles in here. Aren’t you looking for those?”

Her: “Yes, I’ve got my list of titles right here.” Displays handwritten list.IMG_2836

Defeat, from the woman with a limp, to her friend in the science fiction, “Just take yer time, Charlene.  I’ve gotta take a load off.”

I feel her pain.

I feel her pain.

Hope, from one woman to her husband, over in the corner ” Let’s pay for what we’ve got and come back at 3:00.”

Determination, in the History section, from a little girl to her Mama, “Please just let me finish this row!” Mother agrees reluctantly. Girl finishes searching the row and grabs a book.

Mother,”Young lady, you have already got a set of Presidential biographies at home. You can’t find what you want so you just want to buy something.”

History girl is the one in pink. Is it so wrong to just want to buy something?

History girl is the one in pink. Is it so wrong to just want to buy something?

Generosity, from a man to his wife in the record department, “Honey, go ahead and get it. It’s got Cher on it!”

And from me, ambition to become one of the helpers at the sale. and not entirely for altruistic reasons. Me, to my husband, as we exited the parking lot, “I know that record volunteer was holding some records back. I saw him.”DSC_0323

These Boots Are Made For Walkin’

The day I left for Europe my hairdresser told me I was wearing the wrong shoes. “What?” I asked, looking down at the serviceable Merrill hiking boots which had accompanied  me on many a sojourn. “Nope,” she repeated in a definite tone. “You can’t wear those shoes in Paris.”  You don’t know my hair dresser, so I’ll tell you that when she says a thing she means it. As I was going straight to the airport from the salon, I could not rectify the situation until I got to Amsterdam.

On Monday while my husband worked I tried to turn myself into someone who could blend in with the Parisians. For the fashion mavens among you, I went from wearing these items:

IMG_2828 To these:

Check out the boots: they have memory foam in them!

Check out the boots: they have memory foam in them!

And the nifty black rain coat!

And the nifty black rain coat!

After our usual good time (mostly mine, while my husband worked) we departed Amsterdam for Paris by train on Wednesday afternoon. Neither of us had ever been to Paris, but we were certain that one way or another we would enjoy ourselves. After a confusing time at Gare du Nord we boarded the metro to the apartment we had rented.

We got into our charming apartment without a hitch, but we were tired, so we spent the evening in, and dined on items from a market down the street.

The apartment building.

The apartment building.

DSC_0601

The stairs leading to our apartment.

The next day I was ready to walk while looking smart and sophisticated. We soon learned that we were lucky enough to have blundered in on yet ANOTHER  national holiday : May 1st in France! The streets were thronged with tourists walking in the rain, looking to see what would be open that day. We set out  from the eighth arrondissement to see for ourselves.

Jardin de Tuileries? Yes. DSC_0475

Cafe in the Jardin de  Tuileries ? Thankfully, yes.

The Louvre ? No.DSC_1231

Notre Dame?  Yes, but who would even try to wait in that line? We satisfied ourselves by taking photos of the outside.DSC_1240

Bathroom outside of Notre Dame?  Thankfully, yes, although it smelled like a zoo.

Deportation Memorial?  No.DSC_0503

When we left the Ile  de la  Cite we turned toward the Eiffel Tower, the only definite destination of the day. Having been unable to purchase advance tickets on the internet we had opted for a behind the scenes group tour of the Tower. As we walked we talked about what other things we might see on the way and what photos we would like to take if we arrived early. And we did expect to arrive early, for we still had one and a half hours until our tour.

Somewhere around that time I started to suspect I had worn the wrong socks, for the soles of my new boots seemed to have become so thin that  I could feel every slap of my feet on the pavement. On and on we walked. At one point I realized I had my airplane socks in my purse. I sat down on a ledge and put those babies right on. Ahhh, for a few minutes the cobblestones didn’t feel so close to my skin.DSC_1236

And we walked and we walked. With my sore feet and bulging purse I was going as fast as I could. Even the fact that I looked smart and sophisticated was of little comfort. The Eiffel Tower was just so far away!  We kept thinking it would be just around the corner, but when we turned, no. Not yet. Eventually my husband started to worry that we couldn’t even make it in time. I did not mention that I was past caring whether I ever saw the Eiffel Tower or any other monument ever again.

The wea

You trickster, you!

We rushed onto the Eiffel Tower grounds with two minutes to go until the tour. What you need to know abut the tour is that we missed two hours of lines, and that when we rode the elevator up, sheets of rain were buffeting the Tower so that it was useless to try to go on the observation deck. We exited as soon as we could.

So much for all those artsy Eiffel Tower pictures we were going to take!

So much for all those artsy Eiffel Tower pictures we were going to take!

We trudged the streets again   in the rain to a sidewalk cafe which  served overpriced beer. I didn’t care; I was going to get to sit down!!!!  And oh, when I did……has anyone out there ever found the act of sitting down to resemble a sexual experience? I don’t want to embarrass my children any more than I already have, but that 14 euro beer was worth every last penny!

Ahem. Afterwards.

Ahem. Afterwards.

Once we were seated with our beers I had an announcement to make to my husband: under no circumstances would I walk back to our apartment. I didn’t know where we were or how we got there, but he was going to find me the metro to get back. Or else. Since he had had the big idea to walk all day, and his google map seemed  to have underestimated the distances, he deemed it politic to agree  immediately.  I did concede  to walk one more half mile  in the rain to where we had found a brew pub open.

The oldest peeps at the brew pub. Bonjour!

The oldest peeps at the brew pub. Bonjour!

We were the oldest people there, but again, aside from being as wet as a drowned rat at least I looked smart and sophisticated for my age! In time we left, on the lookout for the metro station. We walked and walked and somehow missed the first station. But lo, in the darkness was another one! There was yet hope for the two foreign waifs!DSC_1269

Back at the apartment, I allowed myself to look at my fitbit to see how many steps I’d walked that day. Are you ready for it???? Drum roll, please???????

29,000.      That is correct, my friends.

29,000 steps  and 12.45 miles for the smart, sophisticated girl in the new boots! I was tired, aching, wet and cranky. But oof, what if I’d had the same experiences that day  while  wearing those old hiking shoes?? Qui serait  terrible, no?

The Queen of King’s Day

I landed on schedule at  Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam, after an evening flight from Minneapolis. In the week prior to leaving, I saw a record number of clients, went  to the dentist, sent in the first ten pages of my baby manuscript (incorrectly, of course)  for someone to read, remembered to call my credit card company, went to a professional dinner, and even, through a teeth rattling fluke, had to get my hair colored and cut the day of my departure. But I’d made it without mishap, and as I crammed my sleep blanket and eye mask down into my overstuffed purse, now all I had to do was get through customs, get to the hotel, and manage to keep my jet lagged body awake until a normal bedtime.

Oh, the indescribable crankiness I feel when, after three hours of fitful airplane sleep, someone flips on the lights in order to serve me a frozen banana! Oh, the cotton woolish roar in my ears while standing at the currency exchange, reading the words, but the words make no sense! Oh, the rising tears of self pity as I have to relinquish my luggage cart to go through passport control!  Sorry, I just had to add that little lament!

I suppose I was either overly jet lagged or overly task focused, for not until I was on the tram did I remember: AMSTERDAM WAS HAVING A HOLIDAY  THAT DAY!!!!!!!

It was the Netherlands’ First King’s Day, formerly Queen’s Day, a national holiday which some have compared to being in Times Square on New Year’s Eve, only a whole lot better. Yeeees, it dawned on me as I registered the un accustomed crowd on the tram, and the fact that every single person sported the color orange somewhere on their person. They were all on their way to the city to make merry until the wee hours of the morning.

Right then and there I decided this would be MY holiday. Since Holland no longer had  a queen, and I felt deserving of a reward, I could be the Queen of King’s Day and avoid jet lag at the same time!

After that bit of fast thinking, the tram deposited us all at Central Station. We wagged our selves and our luggage out to the front to discover… oops, no trams would be running that day. So down the main drag we went, my husband’s bag bump, bump, bumping along the cobblestones, my back just slightly bent with the weight of my backpack. ( We do not check luggage.) The long slow trek to the Marriott at Vondelpark gave us a good opportunity to appraise the cultural expectations of this national celebration. In particular, I needed to see what queenly behaviors I might need to exhibit, regardless of whether others were aware of my regal status.

After much observation we concluded that there were two major expectations, to whit: wear orange, and go wild. I took stock of myself. Orange hair? Check. Orange sunglasses? Check, and double check, because mine are prescription Chanel, not the plastic kiddie glasses for sale on the street. But orange apparel I did not bring, nor did my consort.DSC_1090

Take this woman for example. She sat right beside me, yet she seems unaware of my status. Orange attire was a necessity!

Take this woman for example. She sat right beside me, yet she seems unaware of my status. Orange attire was a necessity!

So first we had to fInd orange shirts drink beer, mainly just to have a place to sit and gather ourselves. We could see already that any available place to sit was not to be taken for granted. In time, we made our way almost all the way back to the train station, mingling and looking for the “right” shirts.

Good spot for people watching!

Good spot for people watching!

Hello, Boys!

Hello, Boys!

Rides at Dam Square

Rides at Dam Square

After finding our shirts we could proudly turn around and return triumphant to the Leidesplein. And the party rolled on!DSC_1098 DSC_1101We made it back to the hotel and hid out for a few minutes in the executive lounge before plunging back out among my subjects.IMG_2775

DSC_0346DSC_0337For some reason we thought we would be able to eat dinner at a restaurant, perhaps because for lunch we ordered the first thing we saw on the menu, fearful that our overworked waitress may not return for hours. The first thing on the menu was something fried in batter. No more information was available.

So we plunged down streets looking for some place to eat, I clutching my bag and camera close to my person and my consort hanging on to me lest we get separated. Life can be challenging for a queen. We came to one spot outside a club that was blaring out something like “I Feel Love.” The dancing crowd was like one giant gyrating creature. But we needed to get through. There was only one thing to do. That’s right baby; I DANCED my way through that sucker!!! And I am pleased to report that I was accepted by the crowd in just the regal fashion worthy of me. I’m not so sure about my consort’s experience.

I FEEL LOVE!!!!!!!

I FEEL LOVE!!!!!!!

A civilized dinner in one of our regular Amsterdam haunts was not to be, but after watching all the festivities we could handle, we were grateful for  a vacant sofa in front of a window at our hotel bar, where we could continue to observe all manner of goings on just beyond us. A burger and a grilled chicken sandwich, along with a couple of cold beers,  seemed  just the right refreshments.IMG_0805

As I rested, sated and drowsy,  on the couch, pillow behind my head and  feet propped up on the edge of a chair, I vowed not to forget the little people. As my husband signed our check I remarked to our waitress that I was sorry she’d  had to work on the holiday. Her professional demeanor softened, and she replied in a most sincere tone, “Thank you. Thank you very much.” After all, compassion toward one’s subjects is the truest sign of royalty.