Magpies, in their love of shininess, have an especial need to experience scintillating moments with glittery people. By glittery I do not mean shallow, brittle, self absorbed, or vain. I am talking about an honest shine that comes from the inside all the way out, an unconditional shine that radiates warmth over others, a brightly colored shine that pulsates with willingness to pursue novel endeavors. I am of course describing my sister Ellen.
I promised in my last post to write about our latest adventures. But first a little background. Last summer I wrote a post about my sister in which I referred to her as L.G., or Little General. Ellen did not appreciate that appellation, so I have withdrawn that name from our lexicon. Last week, in a blaze of dervish like activity prior to boarding a plane, I referred to my sister as a hurricane, knowing that should she read the post I would be in big trouble, my kind intentions notwithstanding.
I am now on record to say that Ellen gets things done, but she is NOT a general. She is a force of nature, but she is NOT a hurricane. What then, can I call her? She is a person of great intellect, wit, and charm. Her droll humor and clever imagination cannot be matched. Her no nonsense work ethic and organizational skills are an inspiration to others. Her zest for life is unparalleled, her enjoyment of it a sight to behold. Her authenticity is a beacon to my soul. AND she loves me!
I had not seen my sister since December 2012, when I spent one night with her en route to a friend’s cabin. Little did we know that six long months would pass before we could see one another again. Somehow, with our various travel and work schedules along with family commitments, the weeks elapsed with no firm visiting plans.
We don’t talk on the phone much. We write letters by hand, on paper, to one another, and have for years. But this past semester many weeks separated our letters. I was beginning to feel like an American colonist awaiting word from the continent. Had my letter been lost at sea, dashed on a rocky promontory after a shipwreck? Would I hear that she and her family had perished in a smallpox epidemic? Finally my impatience got the better of me. I left her the following cryptic voice mail,”The jig is up!”
That, ladies and gentlemen, got a response, and at last we were able to plan for her to come see me in my town. She flew in on a Friday night just as my husband was flying out on a business trip, making the timing just right for an All Girls’ Extravaganza. I picked up the Hurric. picked her up at the airport and took her straight to my new midtown condo to spend the night. She admired the condo, and we both exclaimed over the sweet note my husband had left for us. Then she unpacked a few of her things. As I watched her familiar movements and listened to her long accustomed voice, I had this exact thought: I am restored to myself.
Our plan for the week was to have no plan. That way our plans couldn’t possibly go wrong. That evening, we wanted to eat dinner someplace where we could hear ourselves talk. I recommended a place where we chose a secluded table. No sooner had we sat down than a large group of ladies, some under the influence of more than two martinis with more in the offing, began screaming raucously, in a way that truly rattles the eardrums.
What do you suppose Ellen did? She approached those ladies, put her arm around one, leaned in and had a little ole talk with them. And they lowered the volume! When we left the restaurant a waitress followed us out to thank her for helping with the situation!!! How do you describe someone like this?
The next day Ellen accompanied me to a Knit In Public Day at the zoo. She joined right in with these knitters, sharing knitting anecdotes from her own experiences.. And yes, she had brought her own knitting, self sufficient as always. She patiently allowed me to show her off to these folks who may never see her again,with nary a complaint about the heat or crowds. What would you call someone like that?
After knitting we stopped in a consignment store to look for midcentury modern furniture pieces for my largely unfurnished condo. She said she did not know what midcentury modern was, but she found me two tables, and rearranged my car so that they would both fit. But that is not all! She went all the way back down to the condo with me and helped me schlep them up there in grocery carts! Impressive, right?
On Sunday Ellen gamely accompanied me to the Book Club Brunch where she knew barely a soul. I had actually not read the book to be discussed but by chance she had and was able to make salient comments while I nodded sagely. Though we were at a lovely function in a lovely home, Ellen murmured not when I announced we must be moving on to the theater to see Death Trap. This allowed me to use my last two remaining season tickets and also take advantage of the special that day for extending my subscription. All because of Ellen.
On Sunday night we dropped in to Tug’s at Mud Island to be waited upon by my son. While enjoying our meal there we proofread a paper my son was writing for a summer school class. I am fairly sure we were the only two customers there discussing poetry. After dinner we took a leisurely stroll by the banks of the Mississippi River, remarking on the environs and how many pieces of driftwood resembled dinosaurs. Thus ended another cultural evening.
Ellen did not flinch the next evening when it was time for Iyengar Yoga. Her graduate school schedule had prevented her from going to her own class all winter, but she knew enough to know not to push herself. She has “subbed” in my class before, so many members were of course glad to see her. After yoga we spent some quality time outside on my pergola ( which her husband was instrumental in building) before eating a lovely dinner of grilled vegetables and chicken. Prepared by Ellen.
Tuesday was my hair day but we made it Ellen’s hair day too. I told her I liked her hair better red than blonde highlighted, so she obligingly had it redone. I watched to see how the stylist blew it dry so I could show her later. We were too hungry to take pictures, so just believe me that we were two groovy red haired old ladies when we left that shop.
And Wednesday. By Wednesday I had to face a deadline – Mary Hannah’s portrait. For months I had been working on the portrait my niece had asked me to paint. I had decided that I would have it finished as best I could by the time Ellen departed on Thursday so she could deliver it for me. This meant that after helping me with some yardwork early in the day, Ellen would be stuck watching me paint. Ellen had, however, bought some teeny tiny canvases, and tried her hand at them while I labored repeatedly to get M. H.’s skin color to a reasonable tone. Or tint. Or something. Eventually, though her skin looked like combinations of calamine lotion and badly applied makeup, I could do no more. Ellen was suitably soothing and optimistic that the portrait would pass muster with her daughter.
That night we again spent the night at the condo in order to be closer to the airport in the morning. We wanted to have a nice evening so I made us a reservation a place close by where I did not think there would be gaggles of loud ladies. Ellen acquiesced when I suggested she change out of those crummy shorts, and together we walked in the blazing heat to the restaurant. She changed into a skirt of mine that was too long, while I was wearing a skirt I considered a little dowdy. As we walked I saw how easy it could be for the two of us to become peculiar old ladies together, going to the Early Bird Specials and matinees, careful to be home by dark.
It was a bittersweet evening. As I doodled on my side of the tablecloth, Ellen was compiling a list of all we had done.
The list was long, but not nearly long enough. Oh, the things we would do if we had more time! Oh, how empty indeed would even the mundane events be without her! We decided once again that there was no help for it but to retire together in the same place, on the same property if possible. We’ll tell our husbands it’s the only way.
Ellen has gone home now. The portrait is delivered. I am trying to recalibrate myself after almost a week with this adorable creature who knows my thoughts, who finishes my sentences, who always finds something to celebrate. Now that you have read my post I must ask: what you would call my sister? How can she even be described? If you can think of anything – not L.G. or Hurricane of course- I’d be glad to know. For now, I’m just going to call her She Who Restores Me To Myself.
What a great time you two had together. While I am sorry I missed all of the fun, I know I would have just been in the way of your adventures. We must figure out how to retire close by so you girls can have endless adventures together.
Glad you are on board with the program!
david, we mean REALLY close together! you and Stan get on it!
I think he is up with the plan!
You make me think of my best friend and my sister. It’s lovely to have multiple people who complete you in different ways. This was a delightful read just before bed – very relaxing and encouraging. 🙂
Thank you so much for reading and for your comment. I’m glad it made you think of the special people in your life; we are lucky to have them!
I don’t have a sister, but this relationship reminds me of what I share with my best friend. We meet very few times a year, but nothing ever really changes. If anything, the friendship just evolves with time. Loved reading this!
There are biological sisters, and there are sisters of the heart. I’m glad to know you have a “sister” in your life. When we do get to see them, it is as if no time has passed at all. Thanks for reading!
Ah, how lovely! This post made me so very happy:) I am sorry I missed the festivities because they seem awesome! I am thinking about what we should call Ellen too. I have all these images of light and laughter, but I have not settled on anything yet. We could call her the Roman Candle, since she is bright and brilliant and keeps on producing colorful explosions of amazingness…I kind of like this too because it hints at her spiritual depth and suggests celebration. 🙂 I don’t know, I will keep thinking. I love your portrait! It really looks like MH, and it really looks like a human being, which is much more than I have ever been able to accomplish! Also, many famous painters also variegate the shades of skin tone–I think it’s more realistic, really. We all have different patches of light and darkness, and it looks like it blends very well to me. What did MH think of it? 🙂 Also, that card Daddy left you is too cute! Also, I love you, and I love Ellen! 😉
Roman Candle! I think she would like that. She does keep on with the awesomeness while we all watch the sky in amazement. Thanks re the portrait. It was hard to do, but I’m glad I did it!
Do you know the Steely Dan song: she prays like a roman with her eyes on fire?
Sorry to intrude into something that seems like a family conversation. Got a sister too, and only see her once a year. We phone a lot, though – she is not so willing to write long mails. As an outsider I have a different view on your sister – only from what yout told about this weekend of yours, of course:
I’d call her a Rubberband Girl. Yes, energetic like in the Kate Bush-song – but also giving in to your plans and making space in her life for you. Elastic. Holding you together. And the RED haircolour is just a plus 😉
That is the song I had in mind.
Guess this will be my ear worm for the day!
Fran, this is not just a family conversation; all are invited to the party! I like your Rubberband Girl idea; she’s red, flexible, bounces back and definitely has a snap to her! Maybe she will weigh in here and let us know what she thinks!
Fran, welcome to the family! Maybe this will be my new moniker!
This was a delicious and delightful read. Made me a bit sad that I don’t have this kind of relationship with my sister…but so, so happy for you and yours.
I suggest “Lightphoria” for your sis…energy, light, beauty, euphoria…
Thank you for your comments and suggestions. It is always sad when sisters are not close, but that’s the way it is sometimes. When we don’t have that with our own sisters we just have to get out there and make our own sisters! “Lightphoria”! I like it!
ellen ellen bo bellen bonana fanna fo fellen fee fy mo mellen, ellen. an ellen is an ellen is an ellen. an ellen by any other name would smell as sweet. ginger ginger bo binger bonana fanna fo finger fee fy mo minger, ginger. now she is a ginger, just like her older sister (and prince harry). Ain’t it good to know that you’ve got a friend/ When people can be so cold/ They’ll hurt you, and desert you/ And take your soul if you let them. I know I’m not alone
I’ve got a place to go/ You always know/ You restore my soul.
so all in all, life is good.
And I will call YOU a Nuthammer, as I so frequently do. Because that is what you are. I also forgot to say that when people give musical suggestions they are required to DANCE to them. So get started, Buster!
thanks, randy! hope to see you soon
oops – dancing to Rubberband-Girl? Will you provide me with the necessary male??? 😉
Don’t worry, it will be a group dance! Just get out there and be yourself!
well, you certainly redeemed yourself with this post (Excepting the unflarrering photos, but i know i ain’t photogenic), little missy! i am mentally composing my guest post tentatively entitled: Ineffability and Responsibility, or To Hell and Back with my Sister!
When will i see you again? when will our eyes meet? when can i touch you (appropriately, of course!)? signed, she who seeks her name
And now YOU must dance to “When Will I See You Again?” I do welcome any guest post you can send my way! And I am oh, so grateful to have redeemed myself.
as well you should be!
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